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DKjazz's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
DKjazz's favorite FMLs
by hotpatata / 07/06/2012 at 11:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by KillMeNow / 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United Kingdom (Sefton) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip…
- Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…