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DJofAllMusic

Offline (the 01/26/2016 at 6:59am) | Search for a member

DJofAllMusic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 January 1989 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 171
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DJofAllMusic's page activity

Visits<b>marta_tpsmh</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:08pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:01am

DJofAllMusic's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of DJofAllMusic's badges

DJofAllMusic's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

#21493255
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (3285)

On 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by weldingmachine217 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML

Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML

#21466376
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22168) - you deserved it (4846)

On 09/09/2015 at 1:09am - health - by davetherave1983 (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27874) - you deserved it (3541)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, I lost out on a job opportunity because the interviewer said my "fake fangs are unprofessional and frankly disturbing". The "fangs" are my real canines, and they have always looked this way. FML

#21446532
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25396) - you deserved it (1584)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:24pm - work - by (-,..,-) (woman) - France

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (2859)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31918) - you deserved it (4053)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31520) - you deserved it (5352)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (12010)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51430) - you deserved it (14658)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34736) - you deserved it (4709)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

#21268536
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44610) - you deserved it (9640)

On 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44910) - you deserved it (15070)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64022) - you deserved it (4665)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)



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