Hello, my name is John. Born in Long Island, New York, spent most of my life in Boca Raton, Florida now in Houston, Texas
look me up whitetigerhouston@gmail.com
Or on AIM DJ375
Today, I went into work to change a shift I was unable to work. I phone the first person on the employee sheet and they promptly answer by saying "You still work here? I thought the manager fired you..." I was fired last week and have been showing up for shifts without anybody noticing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30877) - you totally deserved it (3476)
Today, I called back a number I recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was the number of my boyfriend's fiance (I had no clue). I've been with him 4 years, he's been with her for 6. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically *I'm* the other woman! FML
I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you totally deserved it (2499)
On 07/02/2009 at 9:31am - love - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out my girlfriend is pregnant and then decided to break up with her. Why? We're lesbians. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62781) - you totally deserved it (6050)
On 06/30/2009 at 1:32am - love - by yoyoyo (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to the movies. After it was over I got up and noticed a designer purse sitting on the ground in the back row. I opened it to look for anything that could give me a address so I could return it. The owner came back, assumed I was robbing her, and punched me in the nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27612) - you totally deserved it (3283)
On 06/25/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7896) - you totally deserved it (40149)
On 06/25/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by nail714 (man) - United States
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49452) - you totally deserved it (6079)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33054) - you totally deserved it (7874)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States
Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why he said. "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47619) - you totally deserved it (1588)
On 06/14/2009 at 1:42am - kids - by andthatshowitgoes (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36951) - you totally deserved it (4442)
On 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you totally deserved it (1024)
On 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Meg (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was cleaning out my fiance's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43754) - you totally deserved it (1978)
On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49923) - you totally deserved it (1907)
On 06/12/2009 at 11:05am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
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