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D4TSYUK13

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D4TSYUK13

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2556
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About D4TSYUK13 :

D4TSYUK13's page activity

Visits<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 2:17am

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D4TSYUK13's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48610) - you deserved it (9546)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44068) - you deserved it (9463)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44367) - you deserved it (5325)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53282) - you deserved it (7932)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50303) - you deserved it (4050)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39525) - you deserved it (4434)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49586) - you deserved it (8543)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

#20988723
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38311) - you deserved it (2445)

On 12/11/2013 at 6:58am - misc - by a.white - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

#20986609
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43932) - you deserved it (7086)

On 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

#20900063
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43335) - you deserved it (4103)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:45am - misc - by -__-" - United States (Washington)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48789) - you deserved it (6380)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50374) - you deserved it (4831)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56277) - you deserved it (9183)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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