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CynicallyAlive

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CynicallyAlive

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 386
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CynicallyAlive : Life has a habit of giving you oranges when you need lemons

CynicallyAlive's page activity

Visits<b>bgreen1111</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:42pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 4:02pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 12:37am<b>coldpepsi82</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 4:55pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 2:51pm<b>GeneralySpeaking</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 2:25pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 5:23am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:15pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:53pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:52am<b>GeneralStew</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:33pm<b>winter_under_ice</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:27pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:43pm

CynicallyAlive's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of CynicallyAlive's badges

CynicallyAlive's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22809) - you deserved it (30419)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29324) - you deserved it (2417)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44146) - you deserved it (2605)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36591) - you deserved it (7568)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML

#21040870
166 comments

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52774) - you deserved it (6665)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28684) - you deserved it (48032)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51872) - you deserved it (6275)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39419) - you deserved it (24348)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

#14484091
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45266) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:54am - health - by omfgitburns (man) -

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123237) - you deserved it (16702)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65809) - you deserved it (5193)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8526) - you deserved it (38480)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22028) - you deserved it (2387)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (32995)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)



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