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Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23362) - you deserved it (3521)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (2157)
On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17783) - you deserved it (3480)
On 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm - kids - by James (man) - United States
Today, an old lady savagely shoved me out of a queue, after I'd been waiting for twenty minutes. I couldn't bring myself to fight back or say anything, and ended up dragging my sorry arse to the back of the queue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11308) - you deserved it (8744)
On 03/30/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by dannyboy (man) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)
Today, I paid top dollar for an Italian soda that ended up consisting almost entirely of ice. When I complained, the girl insisted that the soda water stopped the ice from melting. She said she didn't see what the problem was, and threatened to have me thrown out if I didn't "simmer down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12431) - you deserved it (3203)
On 03/26/2012 at 6:33pm - money - by Sharkie49 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (2592)
On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (2836)
On 01/13/2012 at 6:56pm - love - by Sad.To.Be.Me. (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10278) - you deserved it (22452)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15946) - you deserved it (25228)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22535) - you deserved it (5263)
On 12/07/2011 at 10:33pm - health - by skrewedguy (man) - United States
Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (437)
On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10842) - you deserved it (20952)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6540) - you deserved it (79080)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (3809)
On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26474) - you deserved it (6683)
On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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