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CyanideCandy

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CyanideCandy

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  • Number of visits : 723
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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CyanideCandy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

#1600117
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20950) - you deserved it (127662)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (226281)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22923) - you deserved it (101118)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44725) - you deserved it (19615)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122354) - you deserved it (7049)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I stumbled upon my boyfriend's Facebook. His second Facebook. On which I also stumbled upon his second girlfriend. FML

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
925 comments

I agree, your life sucks (348569) - you deserved it (38611)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you deserved it (253338)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
739 comments

I agree, your life sucks (771867) - you deserved it (82779)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)



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