Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cyanide03

Search for a member

Cyanide03

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 649
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Cyanide03's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Cyanide03's badges

Cyanide03's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a post-it note on my locker that said "consider yourself dumped". FML

#16738508
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36499) - you deserved it (4233)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my camera into water. The good news is that it's waterproof. The bad news is I dropped it off London Bridge. All the pictures and videos of my four-month trip around Europe were on it. FML

#16708648
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41785) - you deserved it (10812)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by catherine - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my professor spent the entire class showing us how to make paper airplanes. I pay over 40 grand a year for college. FML

#16694392
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31843) - you deserved it (5568)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Scholar (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

#15976359
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33824) - you deserved it (5229)

On 04/29/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Jims (man) - Singapore

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

#13227031
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9425) - you deserved it (30726)

On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

#13227031
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9425) - you deserved it (30726)

On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

#12552157
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (4988)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

#8864405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:05am - kids - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

#8864405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:05am - kids - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

#8433301
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22176) - you deserved it (3710)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by kaitlin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (6839)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

#7275628
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (5147)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:25am - love - by krisx3ftw (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

#6966351
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27655) - you deserved it (2386)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Crippled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

#6844162
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (10156)

On 12/20/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by kat, ACT - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: