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Cyanide03

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Cyanide03

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 643
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cyanide03's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Cyanide03's badges

Cyanide03's favorite FMLs

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12875) - you deserved it (40435)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19502) - you deserved it (2866)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

#20120354
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21525) - you deserved it (1598)

On 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (7950)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML

#17746159
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27715) - you deserved it (2692)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:20pm - animals - by Twitchy (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39187) - you deserved it (7275)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44081) - you deserved it (2968)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53233) - you deserved it (3274)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54657) - you deserved it (9321)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14496) - you deserved it (63524)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

#17078585
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33634) - you deserved it (11147)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:26am - misc - by turtle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

#17078585
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33634) - you deserved it (11147)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:26am - misc - by turtle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

#17058882
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (12413)

On 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm - health - by muffintop (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

#16767931
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40558) - you deserved it (3478)

On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States



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