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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28875) - you deserved it (2345)
On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40224) - you deserved it (3157)
On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25324) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29612) - you deserved it (1889)
On 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by theultimatesalonfail - United States
Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81012) - you deserved it (7243)
On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (4374)
On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9579) - you deserved it (32722)
On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30162) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30854) - you deserved it (4413)
On 03/21/2011 at 2:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my best friend decided to start dating my ex. We broke up yesterday. She also thinks I'm crazy because I'm upset about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34383) - you deserved it (2886)
On 02/10/2011 at 12:16am - love - by effyou (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25605) - you deserved it (1922)
On 12/06/2010 at 2:20am - intimacy - by FreakinthePink -
Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend, some of my friends decided to take me to a comedy club for a girls night. My friend's jealous husband decided he had to come along, then decided to invite my other friends' boyfriends. I ended up being the seventh wheel on a night meant to cheer me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (2276)
On 06/17/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (1696)
On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was working as a cashier at a restaurant. When I receive $50 and $100 bills I am required to have a manager check to make sure they are not counterfeit. Every manager I found yelled at me to find another manager because they were busy. Frustrated, I just accepted the bill. It was fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (4337)
On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25530) - you deserved it (2347)
On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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