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Crys_Vann's favorite FMLs
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
by Sirah90 / 05/07/2013 at 3:29am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML
by Kilimanjaro / 04/03/2012 at 12:41am / France / Miscellaneous
by laviestpasimal / 03/06/2012 at 7:14pm / France / Work
by lauren / 07/08/2010 at 12:51am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by slut / 07/01/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Username / 07/01/2010 at 12:55am / Miscellaneous
by JH / 06/30/2010 at 9:43pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I called my mother to check up on her. Lately, she's been having some financial problems, so last week I sent her my last $100 to help her out until her next paycheck. She used the money to euthanize the family dog. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2010 at 2:53pm / United States (New Mexico) / Money
by DaddyZ / 06/27/2010 at 9:30am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
by anonymous / 10/27/2009 at 9:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
by embarrassed4life / 06/25/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by FattyMcFatterson / 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML
by KarlwithaK / 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
- Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded,… Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when… Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried…