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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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CryingHowls

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CryingHowls
  • Town/Country : Hong Kong, China
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 April 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 16705
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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CryingHowls's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (39073) - you deserved it (5365)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

#2514787 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (46267)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (46077)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my sister in law walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (97738)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (64735)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (52690) - you deserved it (21603)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML

#859604 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (54950) - you deserved it (134438)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (15182) - you deserved it (41531)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)