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Croquis

Offline (the 11/17/2015 at 8:07pm) | Search for a member

Croquis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9090
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About Croquis : I enjoy things in an adjective nature.

Croquis's page activity

Visits<b>WyldStyle</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:12pm<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:02am<b>October3461</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 3:56am<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 3:34pm<b>12asigo</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 8:25am<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 3:31pm<b>TitianSuperior</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 1:52am<b>anitriarose</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 1:01am<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 11:46pm<b>JustBeingAwesome</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 2:08pm<b>mamoudi</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 10:09am<b>fish_ster</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 11:26pm<b>wiseman02</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 1:15pm<b>Random_kid0718</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 9:23am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 8:33am<b>icrysometimes_</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 7:21am<b>CordellSun</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 4:31am

Croquis's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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See all of Croquis's badges

Croquis's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

#19988981
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32476) - you deserved it (5795)

On 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

#19987750
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26284) - you deserved it (8623)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (3116)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31527) - you deserved it (2694)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30820) - you deserved it (2434)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML

#19980407
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12161) - you deserved it (21508)

On 07/23/2012 at 10:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML

#19978761
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30931) - you deserved it (4116)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:31am - animals - by Lola -

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31788) - you deserved it (3330)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML

#19969861
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (1621)

On 07/21/2012 at 6:49pm - work - by fuckdubstep51 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12669) - you deserved it (40642)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13292) - you deserved it (42285)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13292) - you deserved it (42285)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15029) - you deserved it (27661)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (7242)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

#19908614
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23854) - you deserved it (6297)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:47am - animals - by scorpionsurviver - United States



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