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Cristian89

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Cristian89

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2119
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs :D
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>seemetrot</b> - 10 hours ago<b>ROMAD</b> - yesterday at 7:46am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:53pm<b>louisdenis805</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:46am<b>kaylaaa01</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:09am<b>Peck_Kcep</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:12am<b>nela25</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:51pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:07am<b>BFons</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:12am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:36am<b>xIlluminated</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 11:15pm<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:49pm<b>emleighb</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:52pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:50pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:38pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:18pm<b>marieeecc</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:04am<b>Anapaob</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:38am

Cristian89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

#20832105
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57361) - you deserved it (20560)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40352) - you deserved it (4665)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44736) - you deserved it (7913)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47488) - you deserved it (38934)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56494) - you deserved it (4281)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

#20823044
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35985) - you deserved it (17337)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01am - animals - by Tea_baggins (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42586) - you deserved it (9826)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58835) - you deserved it (8738)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing hysterically. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58533) - you deserved it (8712)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55652) - you deserved it (9219)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

#20799401
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52289) - you deserved it (4245)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by MenstruallyFrustrated - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45813) - you deserved it (7654)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52666) - you deserved it (6079)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)



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