Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cristian89

Online | Search for a member

Cristian89

5Liked!

Cristian89Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3994
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs :D
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>vampy719</b> - 13 hours ago<b>missa8604</b> - yesterday at 7:52am<b>Bazinga90</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:52am<b>Marzell</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:37pm<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:44pm<b>changster_</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:43pm<b>awkotaco333</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:33pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:41am<b>Nerdgurl86</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:40pm<b>ifoundwaldo123</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:33pm<b>JuliaaNoelle</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:37pm<b>nikkichanxoxo</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 12:19pm<b>isabellasimone</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:41am<b>srinathmatti</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:51am<b>brook823</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 12:22am<b>yorkie_16</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:57pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:02pm<b>M_F06_25</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 7:55pm

Liked!<b>nikkichanxoxo</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:19pm<b>nofreeusernames</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:41am<b>fooltemptress</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:22am<b>KurlyQ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:56am<b>miliaras93</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:34am

Cristian89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47812) - you deserved it (8944)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65940) - you deserved it (6386)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51058) - you deserved it (34325)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47645) - you deserved it (10603)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52493) - you deserved it (6331)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45675) - you deserved it (8378)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

#20883742
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41754) - you deserved it (6711)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42191) - you deserved it (5371)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (39211)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55036) - you deserved it (27646)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39179) - you deserved it (6701)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML

#20878799
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19129) - you deserved it (47870)

On 09/12/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by Robert - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

#20878703
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66349) - you deserved it (7181)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by Crazy Crazy Crazy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57297) - you deserved it (9329)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: