Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cristian89

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

Cristian89

6Liked!

Cristian89Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4730
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs :D
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>MissBoo111</b> - yesterday at 7:35pm<b>kstephens2326</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:35pm<b>thatsavagecat</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:58pm<b>ChelseaxNoelle19</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 11:53pm<b>melanie_c_g</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:40am<b>devi_916</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:06am<b>karaaa_xo</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:58pm<b>brasiliano</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:34am<b>wishfulthinks</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:38am<b>kjax</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:49am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 11:45pm<b>UhHuhHoney</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 6:43pm<b>jenninator93</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:24pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 1:47am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:40pm<b>appletreee</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:15pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 5:48pm<b>dearest_gerr</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:57am

Liked!<b>marthagayo</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:22am<b>nikkichanxoxo</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:19pm<b>nofreeusernames</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:41am<b>fooltemptress</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:22am<b>KurlyQ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:56am<b>miliaras93</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:34am

Cristian89's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (79538)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51986) - you deserved it (7215)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

#20905202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46965) - you deserved it (5248)

On 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Sooz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

#20905202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46965) - you deserved it (5248)

On 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Sooz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

#20903440
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57500) - you deserved it (13981)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38957) - you deserved it (8214)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63533) - you deserved it (26397)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61747) - you deserved it (7237)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

#20899028
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48787) - you deserved it (3182)

On 09/28/2013 at 11:21am - love - by Christian (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59247) - you deserved it (3992)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66989) - you deserved it (4073)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML

#20897734
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (4068)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:18am - work - by ihatethisjob - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was showing my 6-year-old son how easy and safe it is to ride a bike. I didn't notice a pebble, bust up my leg and my son is now terrified of bicycles. FML

#20897147
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34154) - you deserved it (5570)

On 09/26/2013 at 6:56pm - kids - by NoBikesForYou (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

#20893002
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57687) - you deserved it (4607)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss made me play golf with some executives of a company we're hoping to secure a business deal with, despite me having no golf training. My first swing ended up with me being rushed to the hospital. FML

#20891836
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36844) - you deserved it (4405)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: