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Cristian89

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Cristian89

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Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2455
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs :D
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>brookenicolee29</b> - 3 minutes ago<b>melons</b> - 33 minutes ago<b>Black_Ink</b> - one hour ago<b>ClayDude365</b> - 2 hours ago<b>robby9917</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Klivefrog</b> - 2 hours ago<b>VMG</b> - 3 hours ago<b>alyssablack2012</b> - 3 hours ago<b>cutiegurl2</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - 8 hours ago<b>BrianTheWrestler</b> - 20 hours ago<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - 22 hours ago<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - 22 hours ago<b>RandEm2497</b> - 22 hours ago<b>BigJoeZD</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Toutejulie</b> - yesterday at 8:57am<b>miliaras93</b> - yesterday at 6:45am<b>spatula232</b> - yesterday at 4:44am

Cristian89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41426) - you deserved it (33608)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57573) - you deserved it (7812)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41545) - you deserved it (7859) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47682) - you deserved it (11182)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38335) - you deserved it (5267)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47861) - you deserved it (8894)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

#20991978
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52362) - you deserved it (7284)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66288) - you deserved it (3592)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46548) - you deserved it (5126)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

#20984021
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38920) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/07/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
203 comments

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44214) - you deserved it (19829)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44485) - you deserved it (10906)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35813) - you deserved it (3136)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)



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