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Cristian89

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Cristian89

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2171
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs :D
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>AFaye3964</b> - one hour ago<b>sammy1021</b> - one hour ago<b>colton_colton</b> - 5 hours ago<b>tjcall12</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Vanshikap</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Pesticides</b> - 15 hours ago<b>BearTheCrown</b> - 16 hours ago<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - yesterday at 6:09pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - yesterday at 5:40pm<b>addictedtoIASIP</b> - yesterday at 3:41pm<b>I_Am_Melanie</b> - yesterday at 2:23pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - yesterday at 11:36am<b>Ley135</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:59pm<b>SWhimsynBubbaS</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:17pm<b>lazyslumber</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:54pm<b>igottafeelingxo</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:37am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:31am<b>heyithinkyourhot</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 8:10pm

Cristian89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47524) - you deserved it (11151)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38308) - you deserved it (5266)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47724) - you deserved it (8888)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

#20991978
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52302) - you deserved it (7278)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66218) - you deserved it (3587)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46509) - you deserved it (5120)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

#20984021
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38873) - you deserved it (3440)

On 12/07/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
202 comments

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (19775)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44401) - you deserved it (10890)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35789) - you deserved it (3135)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54824) - you deserved it (5803)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

#20968871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44233) - you deserved it (3443)

On 11/24/2013 at 11:01am - love - by fries - United States (New York)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43448) - you deserved it (4362)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59422) - you deserved it (4294)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)



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