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Cristian89

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Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, CA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1542
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs :D
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's last visitors

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Cristian89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38490) - you deserved it (11739) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49702) - you deserved it (6045)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46563) - you deserved it (15543)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (38567)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52417) - you deserved it (9398)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

#21043189
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40425) - you deserved it (4686)

On 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

#21035436
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58633) - you deserved it (8020)

On 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm - health - by AnonWife - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48314) - you deserved it (29438)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54133) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43099) - you deserved it (4818)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39993) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

#21019082
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43874) - you deserved it (17206)

On 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39077) - you deserved it (31456)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52610) - you deserved it (7044)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom



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