Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cristian89

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

Cristian89

1Liked!

Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3198
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs :D
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>Bree06</b> - yesterday at 5:29pm<b>CammyGal</b> - yesterday at 12:36pm<b>steftriv</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:43am<b>xxembabexx</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:33pm<b>alllisonnn</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:53pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Geeve95</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 8:35am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:50am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:36pm<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:28pm<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:43pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:18pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:39pm<b>narwhal95</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:03am<b>mval10</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:07pm<b>poppunkette</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:15pm<b>jsjelly07</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:46pm<b>tuttipains</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:02pm

Liked!<b>miliaras93</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:34am

Cristian89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I love him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

#21136683
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40736) - you deserved it (4892)

On 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm - love - by not gay in AL (man) - United States

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42806) - you deserved it (3463)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

#21123743
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40036) - you deserved it (6721)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by caught out - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (6249)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19630) - you deserved it (43770)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (3064)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46998) - you deserved it (11875)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

#21079043
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33598) - you deserved it (16515)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm - work - by sparkrok - United States (Washington)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (14706)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

#21068141
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49517) - you deserved it (3203)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by seriously though - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50596) - you deserved it (9279)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: