Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cristian89

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Cristian89

3Liked!

Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3649
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs :D
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:36pm<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 8:09am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:58pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:10pm<b>katiebug2968</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:06pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 9:19pm<b>isabellasimone</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:44pm<b>hare</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:10am<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 11:35pm<b>princesstavi</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 8:20pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 9:04pm<b>mcintosh123</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:31pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Lilly_974</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:16am<b>Jenn_love69</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:59am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:30am

Liked!<b>fooltemptress</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:22am<b>KurlyQ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:56am<b>miliaras93</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:34am

Cristian89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and so was my dad, who saw me to the door and ruffled my hair as he wished me luck. I didn't notice until half an hour after arriving at work that he'd stuck his gum in my hair. Nobody bothered to tell me. FML

#21136840
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43706) - you deserved it (3811)

On 05/11/2014 at 4:30pm - work - by sheisselluv (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I love him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

#21136683
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40776) - you deserved it (4895)

On 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm - love - by not gay in AL (man) - United States

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43022) - you deserved it (3487)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

#21123743
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (6723)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by caught out - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42825) - you deserved it (6251)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19638) - you deserved it (43805)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44464) - you deserved it (3116)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47027) - you deserved it (11882)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

#21079043
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33618) - you deserved it (16522)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm - work - by sparkrok - United States (Washington)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36693) - you deserved it (14716)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

#21068141
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49548) - you deserved it (3206)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by seriously though - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50675) - you deserved it (9286)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: