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Cristian89

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Cristian89

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Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2984
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs :D
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>yesimoverthirty</b> - yesterday at 9:31am<b>bombielol</b> - yesterday at 6:35am<b>barneystinson45</b> - yesterday at 9:22pm<b>T_Dogg42</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:56pm<b>kittymeew</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:57pm<b>meg13rocks</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:56am<b>JuggaloSimms1441</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:05am<b>danm19</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 6:11am<b>HansAnFranz</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:19pm<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 5:34pm<b>eriicaaaf</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:52pm<b>Marie54321</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:30pm<b>baby__batmann78</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:32pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:05pm<b>Audem</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:39am<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:16am<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:53pm<b>inode</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:51pm

Cristian89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42783) - you deserved it (3463)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

#21123743
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40017) - you deserved it (6717)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by caught out - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42777) - you deserved it (6248)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19623) - you deserved it (43733)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43688) - you deserved it (3061)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46969) - you deserved it (11871)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

#21079043
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33583) - you deserved it (16509)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm - work - by sparkrok - United States (Washington)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (14698)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

#21068141
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49498) - you deserved it (3202)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by seriously though - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50509) - you deserved it (9271)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

#21064600
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38352) - you deserved it (5198)

On 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm - health - by dating a pussy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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