Cricketman

Search for a member

Offline (the 03/19/2016 at 7:58pm)

Cricketman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1844
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Cricketman's page activity

Visits<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:07pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:24pm<b>ldemosthenous</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 1:15pm<b>hebrewnational35</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 5:24pm<b>JGonzalez70</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 11:06am<b>xChaos</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 7:42pm<b>Umbreon01100</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:02pm<b>mexeuphemism</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:33pm<b>3051628</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:22pm<b>Roterun</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 11:27am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 6:39am<b>Replicakes</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:06am

Cricketman's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Cricketman's badges

Cricketman's favorite FMLs

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

by fearofzombies / 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. After ringing the alarm bell consistantly for 10 minutes, I called someone I was staying with. She went down to the front desk and said that there were people stuck in the elevator. Front desk- "Is that what that is? I thought it was some kids messing around." FML

by elevatorFAIL / 08/10/2009 at 7:00pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

by pkstarstorm / 07/14/2009 at 2:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking the beach and I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other I smiled and waved as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML

by sierra808 / 05/31/2009 at 5:43am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML

by jackelking / 05/25/2009 at 4:33am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

by honeymoondisaster / 05/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

by hyper12332 / 04/29/2009 at 10:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

by spandex / 03/24/2009 at 2:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

by nutsucker / 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

by bluntedone / 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Money

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

by dieold / 01/28/2009 at 7:15am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous