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Cricketman

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Cricketman

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  • Number of visits : 464
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Cricketman's page activity

Visits<b>hebrewnational35</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 5:24pm<b>JGonzalez70</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 11:06am<b>xChaos</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 7:42pm<b>Umbreon01100</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:02pm<b>mexeuphemism</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:33pm<b>3051628</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:22pm<b>Roterun</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 11:27am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 6:39am<b>Replicakes</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:06am

Cricketman's FML badges

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Cricketman's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32038) - you deserved it (3129)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5666) - you deserved it (58796)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25807) - you deserved it (4465)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

#10678827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10493) - you deserved it (36807)

On 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm - health - by guyshithappensto (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML

#8737489
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (6328)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by oboy - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

#8130658
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22867) - you deserved it (4845)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML

#7412536
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30463) - you deserved it (2374)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Nissan_David (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

#6752587
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (5833)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15039) - you deserved it (27764)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

#6061136
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you deserved it (6964)

On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

#5672838
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (9189)

On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

#5337974
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45493) - you deserved it (6527)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by luvizwar (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44319) - you deserved it (11893)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. After ringing the alarm bell consistantly for 10 minutes, I called someone I was staying with. She went down to the front desk and said that there were people stuck in the elevator. Front desk- "Is that what that is? I thought it was some kids messing around." FML

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

#3737947
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46895) - you deserved it (17339)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)



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