Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CrazayPanda

Search for a member

CrazayPanda

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 906
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

CrazayPanda's page activity

Visits<b>Poppy8127</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 3:00pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 4:33pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 7:12pm<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:59am<b>WhoFreakinCares</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 5:09pm<b>KrimnoxAxshi</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 3:13pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:48pm<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 9:37pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 7:20am<b>rs96</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:00pm<b>MegaHAMX</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 12:51pm<b>ea247</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 12:44am<b>DingoCJ</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:03pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 1:06am<b>tsent8</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 4:33pm<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 8:25am<b>kaitlynjane</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 1:58am<b>FrostyKittens</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:46am

CrazayPanda's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of CrazayPanda's badges

CrazayPanda's favorite FMLs

Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39285) - you deserved it (4010)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40916) - you deserved it (9715)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48870) - you deserved it (6446)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53070) - you deserved it (2930)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59533) - you deserved it (4303)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40647) - you deserved it (2731)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42698) - you deserved it (5269)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52412) - you deserved it (3297)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43974) - you deserved it (4140)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44148) - you deserved it (12191)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51209) - you deserved it (6188)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39510) - you deserved it (6539)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52108) - you deserved it (3116)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: