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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Crazafon's favorite FMLs
by abby181 / 09/03/2011 at 10:36am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML
by ol faithful / 09/03/2011 at 5:24am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
by whatdidIdo / 09/03/2011 at 1:33am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
by only1bigdogme / 09/03/2011 at 1:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML
by BlootheBawss / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by CHStennis_4 / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Utah) / Love
by Panda_Bearr / 09/03/2011 at 12:33am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 10:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML
by Actor / 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML
by whattalife / 09/02/2011 at 6:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm / United States (New York) / Health
by anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by d0rk_ / 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML
by tryingtobepretty101 / 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Harry Dare / 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm / United Kingdom (Walsall) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…