Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CrassKal

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

CrassKal

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 April 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1780
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

CrassKal's page activity

Visits<b>GabrielAlvarez</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:44pm<b>menoseloso</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:04am<b>XKkim_</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:18pm<b>LaurenLo</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:24pm<b>ryanthecheeseguy</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:18pm<b>lenardMcCravits</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:33pm<b>DeltaDragonxx</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:59am<b>x_hero</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:52am<b>hufflepuffle</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:06am<b>Boukaka</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 12:30am<b>Thano321</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:00pm<b>AnthonyWheeler15</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 4:01pm<b>pugnamedwhiskey</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 2:35pm<b>Lizzyxoxo</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:59pm<b>jennaroo_06</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:33pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 1:30am<b>acetl87</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 5:01pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 8:17pm

CrassKal's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of CrassKal's badges

CrassKal's favorite FMLs

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24008) - you deserved it (3279)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

#17862319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (2002)

On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9197) - you deserved it (20176)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

#17861695
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39335) - you deserved it (2739)

On 09/29/2011 at 3:34am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (3683)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30358) - you deserved it (11348)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

#17858787
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (2171)

On 09/28/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by AngrySon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37754) - you deserved it (2348)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33125) - you deserved it (4454)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

#17855277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26287) - you deserved it (2257)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

#17855113
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24120) - you deserved it (1843)

On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

#17854622
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31142) - you deserved it (5635)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

#17854068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27462) - you deserved it (2059)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by JubileeBee (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML

#17853037
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30187) - you deserved it (2180)

On 09/28/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Foreverathome - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: