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CrassKal

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CrassKal
  • Town/Country : El Paso, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 April 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1189
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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CrassKal's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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CrassKal's favorite FMLs

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

#17862319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24012) - you deserved it (1850)

On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8067) - you deserved it (17816)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

#17861695
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36840) - you deserved it (2545)

On 09/29/2011 at 3:34am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (3575)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (10497)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

#17858787
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18876) - you deserved it (1559)

On 09/28/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by AngrySon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (1706)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27777) - you deserved it (3437)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

#17855277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (2109)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

#17855113
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21053) - you deserved it (1630)

On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

#17854622
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28364) - you deserved it (5284)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

#17854068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24656) - you deserved it (1855)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by JubileeBee (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML

#17853037
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24956) - you deserved it (1609)

On 09/28/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Foreverathome - United States (Texas)

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

#17851509
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17467) - you deserved it (2739)

On 09/27/2011 at 10:18pm - health - by MissPerspirent (woman) - Canada



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