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CrassKal

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CrassKal
  • Town/Country : El Paso, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 April 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1203
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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CrassKal's last visitors

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CrassKal's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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CrassKal's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49813) - you deserved it (6253)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

#20844435
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73597) - you deserved it (4054)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54790) - you deserved it (6482)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54790) - you deserved it (6482)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72316) - you deserved it (3137)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47081) - you deserved it (7757)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23931) - you deserved it (7121) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61682) - you deserved it (2899)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (5345)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44012) - you deserved it (5633)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21538) - you deserved it (2073)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21357) - you deserved it (4099)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14751) - you deserved it (2915)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (2843)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (3022)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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