About CrackCrazedMonky : Just an a average guy in a unique world. Enjoy sports, mainly the Redsox and Penguins, reading, watching movies, and spending time with my little girl. Want to talk? Hit me up. I'll talk about anything.
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CrackCrazedMonky's favorite FMLs
Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML
by tw@ / 09/28/2014 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 7:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals
by haileelouxxx / 08/22/2014 at 8:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
by anona / 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia / Health
Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML
by properpissed / 06/03/2014 at 11:36am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
by fuck you, bitchcake / 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
by SecondBest,IGuess / 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy
by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by SpLo0gIeR / 02/13/2012 at 10:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…