Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Crabtree1015

Search for a member

Crabtree1015

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 293
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Crabtree1015's page activity

Visits<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 6:35am<b>MetalManiacHappy</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 5:39pm<b>fk18</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 12:45am<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 5:47am<b>vffjvsegb</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 6:27pm<b>AshaaFerreira</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 8:40am<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:45pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 4:05am

Crabtree1015's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Crabtree1015's badges

Crabtree1015's favorite FMLs

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47869) - you deserved it (23022)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52331) - you deserved it (9084)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

#20728644
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51385) - you deserved it (10382)

On 06/16/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by sex deprived (woman) - United States

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43204) - you deserved it (6599)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83414) - you deserved it (6884)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63467) - you deserved it (13976)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

#20632198
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52851) - you deserved it (4994)

On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46616) - you deserved it (5472)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43101) - you deserved it (3204)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29454) - you deserved it (23300)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12110) - you deserved it (30657)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42816) - you deserved it (9363)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30676) - you deserved it (19657)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33000) - you deserved it (18995)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26026) - you deserved it (9183)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: