About CrAzYyEt : I am brunette and actually agree with most sexist jokes. I hate people that obsess with looks and love country music. I love all my friends and love chilling with them:) I Recently stopped being a "goodie goodie" so I get my stuff taken away... A lot..... Well I'm bored. Bye!
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CrAzYyEt's favorite FMLs
Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy I had been seeing, and things start to get pretty steamy. As he paused for a second, I thought he was going to get up and find a condom, but instead he turns to me and says, "I think I'm going to go to the library." I wasn't invited. FML
by Anonymous / 12/29/2009 at 12:02am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to wear a tight, long-sleeved shirt that showed off my body. As I was trying to roll up my sleeves, I realized how tight this shirt really was. It wouldn't budge past my elbow and I tugged to hard I ended up punching myself in the eye. I now have a swollen, black and blue eye. FML
by Unknown / 11/15/2009 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my sister that I thought I was pregnant, and that she was the only person I had called. Immediately after I hung up the phone I got a text saying, "OMG my sister thinks she's pregnant!" FML
by Misc248 / 10/19/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, my computer stopped working. Me, the technology challenged one, decided to do a system recovery on it hoping that I could make it better. Turns out, system recovery means deleting all the files off the computer including family photos, music and assignments and starting fresh. FML
by rebeccaremily / 10/04/2009 at 3:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML
by onehundredpercenteffed / 08/13/2009 at 9:46pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 3:53am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
by Lisaa918 / 06/10/2009 at 10:49am / United States (Indiana) / Kids
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
by hamsterlovinn / 06/06/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I was giving my crush a lift home from a mutual friend's house. When he got in the car, my mom asked in French, "Is this the guy you won't stop talking about? You can do so much better!" Of all the things I've told about him to my mom, I forgot to mention he's French as well. FML
by frenchgirlll / 04/27/2009 at 12:43am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
by Noca / 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by Noname / 10/29/2008 at 6:09am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Health
- Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category.… Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he… Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more…