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CptnHowdyy

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CptnHowdyy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 350
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CptnHowdyy : Professional Cuddler and Foodie Extraordinaire.

If I had to describe my sense of humor, I would describe it as dry and politically incorrect.

I love coffee, turtles, kitties and kale.

CptnHowdyy's page activity

Visits<b>GoingSol</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Holmes27</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:54pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 12:16am<b>JonnyBoy18</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 4:36am<b>UmbreonKirby</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:14pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:21pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:06am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 10:07pm<b>sergiceberg</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 5:42pm<b>je83185</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 1:07pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 7:00am<b>Stevieray20</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:44am<b>FlapJack1357</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:07pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:15am<b>ElNeqriito</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 2:55pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:54pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 4:45pm

CptnHowdyy's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of CptnHowdyy's badges

CptnHowdyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54107) - you deserved it (6153)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64723) - you deserved it (6569)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36954) - you deserved it (12397)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35015) - you deserved it (6746)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (6277)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML

#20194448
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23174) - you deserved it (1782)

On 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm - love - by shamefaced (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23727) - you deserved it (2895)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (3865)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27376) - you deserved it (4720)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31966) - you deserved it (2251)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31966) - you deserved it (2251)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24391) - you deserved it (2574)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37758) - you deserved it (6072)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46598) - you deserved it (3233)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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