About CourtneyDanielle : Dear 1994. You brought us the death of Kurt Cobain and the birth of Justin Bieber? Not cool. Sincerely, the world.
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Today, I returned to the USA after being in Italy for a month. My boyfriend of 6 years picked me up; we had plans to go ring shopping this week. I ran to him, and told him how much I loved and had missed him. He handed me a chocolate chip cookie from Starbucks and dumped me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33184) - you deserved it (2486)
On 10/08/2009 at 7:35am - love - by sbgooding - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9963) - you deserved it (32747)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:14am - kids - by stupidsantaclaus (woman) - United States (California)
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (5991)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (2491)
On 10/07/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by dangerousknitter (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24386) - you deserved it (11624)
On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school, that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (2915)
On 10/07/2009 at 5:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was locked inside my dorm room. Yeah, inside. How? Some of my floormates decided to stick pennies in the door frame, which jammed the handle. I was stuck inside my room and had to pee really bad. I couldn't call an RA to get me out either. Why? I am the RA. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (3612)
On 10/07/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by pennyhater (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5055) - you deserved it (34538)
On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (124089) - you deserved it (4826)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27748) - you deserved it (9870)
On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)
Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8792) - you deserved it (25847)
On 10/07/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by vbscb (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12625) - you deserved it (25848)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (28301)
On 10/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by lovebigmacs (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I poured my heart out into what had to be my greatest set of lyrics for my band ever, at the same time my teacher was explaining chemical changes to the class. At the end of the lecture he picked up my paper, and set it on fire to demonstrate a chemical change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (23946)
On 10/06/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by 3LLI0TT (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30379) - you deserved it (2951)
On 10/06/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by roomie487 - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Monday 20 May 2013
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