About CourtneyDanielle : Dear 1994. You brought us the death of Kurt Cobain and the birth of Justin Bieber? Not cool. Sincerely, the world.
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Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32298) - you deserved it (2605)
On 10/03/2009 at 11:34am - health - by Pwnedofthedead (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, during the opening night performance of our schools musical, while I wasn't on stage I decided to use the restroom. I came out to find two of my fellow actresses putting their hands over my mouth. Apparently, I had left my microphone on and everyone heard me using the restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26866) - you deserved it (9798)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:47am - misc - by Porcelain (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30606) - you deserved it (3678)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24233) - you deserved it (12290)
On 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by jacked (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25815) - you deserved it (2149)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - Sent from mobile version
Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5936) - you deserved it (50517)
On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (2345)
On 10/02/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by dannyboy1422 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (2460)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa
Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends, she didn't know which one I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (7952)
On 10/02/2009 at 4:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29606) - you deserved it (9442)
On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (2304)
On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38449) - you deserved it (2905)
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22496) - you deserved it (15043)
On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30241) - you deserved it (4708)
On 10/01/2009 at 10:25am - animals - by unloved (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, it was my wedding day. Everything went great, except that no one showed up. Apparently, the address of the invitation was typed wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29288) - you deserved it (11418)
On 10/01/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by notmarriedyet (woman) - United States (Georgia) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Monday 17 June 2013
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