Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Country29

Search for a member

Country29

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5432
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Country29 : So I'm addicted to fmls... Support group??

Country29's page activity

Visits<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:58am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:51pm<b>dijorno13</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 9:15pm<b>ahd94</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 1:59am<b>jamjam12</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 11:13pm<b>rabidraccoon</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 12:51am<b>barfcannon</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 5:59pm<b>xx_serenity</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 11:25pm<b>smiley1014</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 11:12pm<b>annalily5</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 11:09pm<b>sandman24551</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 11:26am<b>lac515</b> - the 05/25/2012 at 8:29pm<b>cefarix</b> - the 02/19/2012 at 6:07pm<b>jasondavidmurphy</b> - the 02/16/2012 at 6:22pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 01/21/2012 at 1:28pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 01/15/2012 at 6:19pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 01/15/2012 at 11:29am<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 01/15/2012 at 3:06am

Country29's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Country29's badges

Country29's favorite FMLs

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (1855)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10228) - you deserved it (40603)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5825) - you deserved it (23023)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25641) - you deserved it (2380)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20173) - you deserved it (1262)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48537) - you deserved it (2530)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

#20135099
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (6873)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (10190)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38408) - you deserved it (2822)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

#20113138
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19643) - you deserved it (3143)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:15am - love - by anonymous2.0 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML

Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML

#20109957
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (1662)

On 10/10/2012 at 12:15am - work - by caltech (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML

#20088451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23172) - you deserved it (2583)

On 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24036) - you deserved it (2793)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: