Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Country29

Search for a member

Country29

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 September 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4623
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Country29 : So I'm addicted to fmls... Support group??

Country29's page activity

Visits<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:58am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:51pm<b>dijorno13</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 9:15pm<b>ahd94</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 1:59am<b>jamjam12</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 11:13pm<b>rabidraccoon</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 12:51am<b>barfcannon</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 5:59pm<b>xx_serenity</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 11:25pm<b>smiley1014</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 11:12pm<b>annalily5</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 11:09pm<b>sandman24551</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 11:26am<b>lac515</b> - the 05/25/2012 at 8:29pm<b>cefarix</b> - the 02/19/2012 at 6:07pm<b>jasondavidmurphy</b> - the 02/16/2012 at 6:22pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 01/21/2012 at 1:28pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 01/15/2012 at 6:19pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 01/15/2012 at 11:29am<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 01/15/2012 at 3:06am

Country29's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Country29's badges

Country29's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34625) - you deserved it (3835)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48262) - you deserved it (5988)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not". FML

#20537852
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29060) - you deserved it (2612)

On 03/10/2013 at 5:09am - love - by Nogood - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (59844)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

#20536189
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (3543)

On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12948) - you deserved it (31995)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31357) - you deserved it (11437)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

#20533543
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38478) - you deserved it (2333)

On 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by disgruntled stepdaughter - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (4046)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40877) - you deserved it (3849)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42079) - you deserved it (5992)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

#20531170
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50736) - you deserved it (6067)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43942) - you deserved it (6708)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24655) - you deserved it (4322)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27552) - you deserved it (2258)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: