CountDuk

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CountDuk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3756
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About CountDuk : Hey. So... I'm not going to try to be clever because I know that won't end well.

Yeah, I'm going to end with that. Have a nice day!

CountDuk's page activity

Visits<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:06pm<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:08pm<b>puffthisfish</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 8:11pm<b>Jiplo</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 11:35pm<b>sailors93</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 2:05pm<b>thelifeilive21</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 9:18pm<b>thentaniasaid</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 1:53pm<b>Iknowsomestuff</b> - the 09/16/2012 at 10:24pm<b>shiritt</b> - the 03/08/2010 at 1:06pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/15/2009 at 11:45pm<b>thefaded</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 11:49pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/17/2009 at 5:35pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/12/2009 at 7:46am<b>CodeMan16</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 10:31pm<b>obesecow2012</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 11:09pm<b>jpi13</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 10:00pm

CountDuk's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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CountDuk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

by Lilly_28 / 08/11/2009 at 10:01am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We start going at it and we were both butt naked when I see a car pull into the lot. Not only is it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asks my girlfriend is "Are you being held against your will?" FML

by kmf / 08/10/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML

by mubaki / 07/24/2009 at 1:07pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

by ilikeirishducks / 06/19/2009 at 9:51am / Italy / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

by pissingcontest / 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

by ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass / 05/25/2009 at 4:54am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

by Rech / 05/12/2009 at 7:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

by GreenMonstR / 04/25/2009 at 1:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 6:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

by Nutless / 04/01/2009 at 8:34pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy