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CougeeSwagg

Offline (the 08/25/2015 at 8:33pm) | Search for a member

CougeeSwagg

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 648
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CougeeSwagg's page activity

Visits<b>saucethenevsauce</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:27am<b>amharrin</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:22am<b>EKDH</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:42pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:57pm

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50 favourites

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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CougeeSwagg's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26344) - you deserved it (2540)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

#21439786
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25991) - you deserved it (3678)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

#21417851
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30530) - you deserved it (2755)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29119) - you deserved it (2887)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41422) - you deserved it (12431)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39638) - you deserved it (15268)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45772) - you deserved it (7798)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54387) - you deserved it (7374)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63616) - you deserved it (9057)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

#21094011
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50082) - you deserved it (7033)

On 03/23/2014 at 1:31am - intimacy - by BustedEgo (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56492) - you deserved it (5932)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48190) - you deserved it (9601)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51287) - you deserved it (6232)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



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