CougeeSwagg

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CougeeSwagg

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 885
  • Number of comments : 264
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CougeeSwagg's page activity

Visits<b>psmith78332</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 9:17am<b>saucethenevsauce</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:27am<b>amharrin</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:22am<b>EKDH</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:42pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:57pm

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CougeeSwagg's favorite FMLs

Today, my stepmother started talking to me after a month of the silent treatment. When I asked her what I had done wrong, she replied, "Nothing, but do you know that feeling when you look at someone and you just want to choke them?" FML

by Stepmotherfucker / 03/23/2016 at 2:32am / Ukraine / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a letter from an eBay seller for whom I recently left an honest, negative review. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't ready for what spilled out coating my jeans, shoes, and brand new carpet: Glitter. FML

by okaydisarray / 03/22/2016 at 4:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

Today, my family got mad at me for eloping and not inviting them to my wedding. Even though they admitted they wouldn't have gone anyway. FML

by BlueSteele220 / 03/22/2016 at 4:57am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I just came back from Afghanistan after a 9-month tour, and my brother asked, "How many towelheads did you kill?" He then acted offended when I smacked him upside the head. FML

by I hate my brother / 03/20/2016 at 2:53pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 2:24am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 5 years gave me the "I'm not in love with you anymore" speech. I saw it coming, so I'd planned to play it cool by saying, "If you're sure it's something we can't fix, I'd rather not talk about it". After a while, I realised I was just sitting there like a child, fidgeting and shaking. FML

Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML

by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

by again? / 03/15/2016 at 6:03am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

by Anon / 03/15/2016 at 2:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML

by singlemam / 03/14/2016 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, after a lot of complaints from other members, I told an old lady at the gym I work at that she couldn't sit in the sauna naked. She responded by grabbing her boobs and shaking them in my face. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

by rapunzel3416 / 03/14/2016 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's White Day, a tradition in Japan where men buy gifts for women. A coworker walks in with gifts, hands them out to the local women, explains the holiday to a new guy, and walks out. I'm the only person in our office who didn't get a Valentine's Day or White Day gift. FML

Today, I called to see if my bridesmaid's dress was ready. They told me it had already been picked up, the bride's mom picked up the dress and got rid of it because she doesn't want me in the wedding. FML

Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2016 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot) / Health