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CougeeSwagg

Offline (the 01/04/2016 at 4:07am) | Search for a member

CougeeSwagg

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 812
  • Number of comments : 256
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CougeeSwagg's page activity

Visits<b>saucethenevsauce</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:27am<b>amharrin</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:22am<b>EKDH</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:42pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:57pm

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CougeeSwagg's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (2859)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

#21439786
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (3781)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

#21417851
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31486) - you deserved it (2853)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32459) - you deserved it (3546)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35394) - you deserved it (3814)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (13255)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40464) - you deserved it (15557)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47230) - you deserved it (7983)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55152) - you deserved it (7452)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64748) - you deserved it (9212)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

#21094011
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51021) - you deserved it (7130)

On 03/23/2014 at 1:31am - intimacy - by BustedEgo (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57437) - you deserved it (6022)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



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