Corvo_Attano

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Offline (the 01/30/2015 at 2:30am)

Corvo_Attano

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1242
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Corvo_Attano's page activity

Visits<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:56am<b>Khivt</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:16pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:39pm<b>ShadowlessSpear</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:04pm<b>krupa1901</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:41pm<b>DeathcoreDoge</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:41pm<b>kalwalls</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:55am<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:54pm<b>kinky44</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:42pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:24am<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:04pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Blizzards</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:51pm<b>B818</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:25am<b>_Slenderman_</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:19am<b>Cesar214</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:02am<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:06am

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Corvo_Attano's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

by TiredMum / 10/16/2013 at 9:33am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

by markerThief / 10/13/2013 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

by OH COME ON / 12/29/2011 at 10:48am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

by caughtorangehanded / 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

by itchybollos / 09/16/2010 at 5:04am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

by StillDrowsy / 10/09/2009 at 8:29am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy