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Corvo_Attano

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 7:40pm) | Search for a member

Corvo_Attano

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  • Number of visits : 381
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Corvo_Attano's page activity

Visits<b>boring_boredom</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Khivt</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:16pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:39pm<b>ShadowlessSpear</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:04pm<b>krupa1901</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:41pm<b>DeathcoreDoge</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:41pm<b>kalwalls</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:55am<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:54pm<b>kinky44</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:42pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:24am<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:04pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Blizzards</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:51pm<b>B818</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:25am<b>_Slenderman_</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:19am<b>Cesar214</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:02am<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:06am

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Corvo_Attano's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (47677)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38953) - you deserved it (5164)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41368) - you deserved it (4501)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51629) - you deserved it (11564)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49594) - you deserved it (4487)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46798) - you deserved it (6524)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39429) - you deserved it (9662)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37562) - you deserved it (12060)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28405) - you deserved it (5013)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18390) - you deserved it (77420)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17354) - you deserved it (41212)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28808) - you deserved it (2876)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87647) - you deserved it (14658)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

#5737045
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28001) - you deserved it (6653)

On 10/09/2009 at 8:29am - health - by StillDrowsy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113072) - you deserved it (8496)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States



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