Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Corvo_Attano

Search for a member

Corvo_Attano

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 205
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Corvo_Attano's page activity

Visits<b>Khivt</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:44pm<b>UntoldLife</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:19pm<b>weeping_angel_</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:25am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:56pm<b>lizardFace</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 11:30am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:16pm<b>soccerpowner</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 8:08pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:03pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 7:20pm<b>IrishKelp</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:27pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:51am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:25pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 8:46am<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:52pm<b>willywaffle</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:10pm<b>arabe30</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Ezellianna</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:18am<b>z0mBi3kiTTy</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 2:54pm

Corvo_Attano's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of Corvo_Attano's badges

Corvo_Attano's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46705) - you deserved it (6514)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39339) - you deserved it (9645)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37375) - you deserved it (11987)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28303) - you deserved it (5006)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17991) - you deserved it (76363)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17281) - you deserved it (41127)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (2842)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112219) - you deserved it (8471)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8903) - you deserved it (114658)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

#3173139
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46891) - you deserved it (13957)

On 06/24/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by feelinnauseous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

#3173139
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46891) - you deserved it (13957)

On 06/24/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by feelinnauseous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40386) - you deserved it (139797)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52233) - you deserved it (97930)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML

#108416
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46795) - you deserved it (15304)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by j0hn (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

#4119
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (4763)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by fuckit - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: