Corvo_Attano

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Offline (the 01/30/2015 at 2:30am)

Corvo_Attano

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1271
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Corvo_Attano's page activity

Visits<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:56am<b>Khivt</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:16pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:39pm<b>ShadowlessSpear</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:04pm<b>krupa1901</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:41pm<b>DeathcoreDoge</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:41pm<b>kalwalls</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:55am<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:54pm<b>kinky44</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:42pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:24am<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:04pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Blizzards</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:51pm<b>B818</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:25am<b>_Slenderman_</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:19am<b>Cesar214</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:02am<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:06am

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Corvo_Attano's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 9:17am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

by HeyTherexxx / 04/20/2014 at 9:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker / 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm / United Kingdom (Wirral) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

by testacular / 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

by ColoradoGirl420 / 03/24/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

by cat whisperer / 03/20/2014 at 12:31am / United States / Animals

Today, my grandma begins her second week of unemployment. So far, she has paced outside my door, randomly comes into my room, and I woke up this morning to find a bible on my bed. I now look forward to going to work every day. FML

by get me out of this house! / 03/03/2014 at 1:12am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids