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Corvo_Attano

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 7:40pm) | Search for a member

Corvo_Attano

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 365
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Corvo_Attano's page activity

Visits<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 12:01am<b>Khivt</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:16pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:39pm<b>ShadowlessSpear</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:04pm<b>krupa1901</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:41pm<b>DeathcoreDoge</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:41pm<b>kalwalls</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:55am<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:54pm<b>kinky44</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:42pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:24am<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:04pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Blizzards</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:51pm<b>B818</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:25am<b>_Slenderman_</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:19am<b>Cesar214</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:02am<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:06am

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Corvo_Attano's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41041) - you deserved it (4327)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44194) - you deserved it (5544)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37315) - you deserved it (5007)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24295) - you deserved it (44707)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38494) - you deserved it (12809)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39179) - you deserved it (16272)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41561) - you deserved it (21390)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44458) - you deserved it (7084)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50433) - you deserved it (4833)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

#21105340
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40499) - you deserved it (3142)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

#21096245
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21625) - you deserved it (50108)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by testacular (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

#21095237
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36990) - you deserved it (3085)

On 03/24/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by bloodyhell - United States (Colorado)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43321) - you deserved it (9394)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, my grandma begins her second week of unemployment. So far, she has paced outside my door, randomly comes into my room, and I woke up this morning to find a bible on my bed. I now look forward to going to work every day. FML

#21076525
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34028) - you deserved it (3218)

On 03/03/2014 at 1:12am - misc - by get me out of this house! (woman) - United States



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