Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 May 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 781
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Cortezthe1st : Just an average teenage boy who prefers playing video games over attending parties.

Necrotizing Fasciitis

Emmett Till you da real MVP.

Cortezthe1st's page activity

Visits<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:25pm<b>jtthegr8</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:27pm<b>CDT97</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:26pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:16am<b>CammieMac</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 5:26pm<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:50am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:36pm<b>justcause001</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:34pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:03pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 9:07pm<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:29pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 4:48am<b>AliLikesApples</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 10:06pm<b>moewmoew</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:13pm<b>grunt2423</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 10:33pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:57pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:58pm<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:49pm

Liked!<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:19pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:24am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:01am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:32pm<b>DeCallMeJuan</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 4:58am<b>ChampHero</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 2:38am<b>theweasel</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:00am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Duladian</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:00pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 10:03am<b>lex1459</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 9:58am<b>eore</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:50pm<b>singingqueen212</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:28pm<b>justawallflower</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:04pm<b>swagstatic</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 5:08pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:41am

Cortezthe1st's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Cortezthe1st's badges

Cortezthe1st's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (2328)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45970) - you deserved it (3853)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (6815)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went on a date for the first time in eight months. He didn't make a move. I then asked if we were on a date. He said, "I don't know, I guess." I can't tell either. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28892) - you deserved it (5206)

On 04/09/2011 at 4:08am - love - by confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML


I agree, your life sucks (59714) - you deserved it (5878)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54271) - you deserved it (14619)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33687) - you deserved it (146275)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11497) - you deserved it (33900)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:38pm - animals - by Fucked - United States (North Carolina)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: