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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 May 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1081
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Cortezthe1st : Just an average teenage boy who prefers playing video games over attending parties.

Necrotizing Fasciitis

Emmett Till you da real MVP.

Cortezthe1st's page activity

Visits<b>Fidge</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:37pm<b>BrightBlue87</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:30am<b>notoriousbob</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:46pm<b>BreannaB</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 11:54pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 9:16am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 1:35pm<b>fastnachter</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 10:25pm<b>hayleymaybe</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 3:08pm<b>igottapee</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 6:57am<b>thejonac</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:31am<b>KaidensCrow</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:11am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:12pm<b>PadfootLovesPie</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 9:02pm<b>ironichalibut</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:53pm<b>ThatOneChick856</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:01pm<b>e_is_for_eli</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:28pm<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:09pm<b>bobman51</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 8:10am

Fucked!<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:43pm<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:09pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:40am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:56pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 9:29am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:20pm<b>yescry</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:15pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:55am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:08am<b>FailStaff</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:36am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 5:09am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:10pm<b>purpleturtle16</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:35pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:19pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:24am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:01am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:32pm<b>DeCallMeJuan</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 4:58am

Cortezthe1st's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Cortezthe1st's badges

Cortezthe1st's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44813) - you deserved it (3343)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36465) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47354) - you deserved it (3969)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38169) - you deserved it (7125)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went on a date for the first time in eight months. He didn't make a move. I then asked if we were on a date. He said, "I don't know, I guess." I can't tell either. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30324) - you deserved it (5366)

On 04/09/2011 at 4:08am - love - by confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML


I agree, your life sucks (63420) - you deserved it (6230)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29702) - you deserved it (7533)

On 12/28/2010 at 2:44am - intimacy - by sealy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55702) - you deserved it (14881)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35466) - you deserved it (151081)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML


I agree, your life sucks (73394) - you deserved it (3220)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11581) - you deserved it (34163)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:38pm - animals - by Fucked - United States (North Carolina)

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