About Corrupt_waffles : I am an aspiring Forensic Science major. I am currently going to college and the people there annoy me.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15483) - you deserved it (3441)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by gilbirds (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (3948)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22711) - you deserved it (1914)
On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22711) - you deserved it (1914)
On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)
Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13709) - you deserved it (2626)
On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5385) - you deserved it (26370)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6908) - you deserved it (17241)
On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)
Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14222) - you deserved it (1145)
On 10/11/2012 at 1:28am - work - by Wolf145 - United States (California)
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (2205)
On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13021) - you deserved it (25554)
On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28204) - you deserved it (1265)
On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (3521)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for a familiar reason; I apparently have night terrors that make me "Impossible to sleep in the same room with." I don't ever remember these dreams. Every other girlfriend I've had has ended up breaking things off with me for the same reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26809) - you deserved it (2865)
On 12/09/2011 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (4243)
On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32604) - you deserved it (4782)
On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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