About Corrupt_waffles : I am an aspiring Forensic Science major. I am currently going to college and the people there annoy me.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (6262)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36289) - you deserved it (6402)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41506) - you deserved it (15984)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49278) - you deserved it (4292)
On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45468) - you deserved it (4297)
On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50053) - you deserved it (2661)
On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39794) - you deserved it (3726)
On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43134) - you deserved it (4496)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43134) - you deserved it (4496)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (14193)
On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48630) - you deserved it (9988)
On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36286) - you deserved it (6973)
On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41650) - you deserved it (3244)
On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37972) - you deserved it (4974)
On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52233) - you deserved it (6809)
On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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