About Cookiee04 : Fml addict
About Cookiee04 : Fml addict
Cookiee04's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Cookiee04's favorite FMLs
by Broken / 11/03/2015 at 1:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML
by nerderer / 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! / 02/01/2015 at 11:17am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by dicksonthebrain / 09/26/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom / Work
by jake / 08/12/2014 at 6:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML
by lostintdot / 07/31/2014 at 7:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML
by Ieri / 04/12/2014 at 5:56pm / Albania / Love
by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by coppervains / 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by BaconLover / 10/28/2013 at 12:58am / Japan / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, a customer bitched at me in front of her children for 10 minutes because I wouldn't open the… Today, my mom's guilt tripping reached a new level when she told me all she wanted for her birthday… Today, I was coaching some kids in table tennis when I told them to try a forehand loop, or smash.…