Hey there!
First of all, This site is awesome. I come hear to solely laugh at you. Keep them coming
Btw if you're bored and wanna talk to me?
Kimble.1337@live.co.uk
Thanks.
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55912) - you totally deserved it (3556)
On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43633) - you totally deserved it (1834)
On 07/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I was going to surprise my boyfriend at his family birthday celebration with a $2,000 trip he's always wanted, Ireland. Right before my gift, he had opened his mother's gift, an envelope containing a plane ticket. Guess where it was going? FML
I agree, your life sucks (32110) - you totally deserved it (2544)
On 07/22/2009 at 4:11am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26922) - you totally deserved it (7819)
On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (329750) - you totally deserved it (16455)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (385382) - you totally deserved it (67562)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51128) - you totally deserved it (6928)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:25pm - intimacy - by acw2110 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15523) - you totally deserved it (695)
On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)
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