Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Connerm

Offline (the 12/15/2015 at 6:13pm) | Search for a member

Connerm

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 August 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1525
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Connerm's page activity

Visits<b>memed</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:18pm<b>lchollett</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 8:41pm<b>iAmScrubs</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 1:27am<b>kayzers</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:00pm<b>shanedooburt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:08pm<b>JustinCredible42</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:52am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:04pm<b>linderp</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:12pm<b>TuChiLE_MeXiCaNO</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:31pm<b>UC_jrmnts</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 12:01am<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 6:53pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:07pm<b>TheLawsOfGravity</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 2:02am<b>thatnewgirl</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 11:18am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:34am<b>martin8337</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:27pm<b>not_alone</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:18pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:21pm

Fucked!<b>kayzers</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:23am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:07pm

Connerm's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Connerm's badges

Connerm's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35846) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44016) - you deserved it (6172)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50054) - you deserved it (27227)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52890) - you deserved it (11081)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (2409)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39040) - you deserved it (5937)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53063) - you deserved it (6662)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45182) - you deserved it (14761)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15813) - you deserved it (74169)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45789) - you deserved it (8647)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (7560)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

#20409563
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (6846)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I overheard my mom telling my younger sister not to use my razors because she "doesn't know what I may have." FML

#18604441
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28233) - you deserved it (4761)

On 12/25/2011 at 2:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML

#16929016
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (2763)

On 06/30/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by Rachael (woman) - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70295) - you deserved it (3940)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: