Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Connerm

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Connerm

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 August 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1325
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Connerm's page activity

Visits<b>lchollett</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 8:41pm<b>iAmScrubs</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 1:27am<b>memed</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:50pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:00pm<b>shanedooburt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:08pm<b>JustinCredible42</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:52am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:04pm<b>linderp</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:12pm<b>TuChiLE_MeXiCaNO</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:31pm<b>UC_jrmnts</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 12:01am<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 6:53pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:07pm<b>TheLawsOfGravity</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 2:02am<b>thatnewgirl</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 11:18am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:34am<b>martin8337</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:27pm<b>not_alone</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:18pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:21pm

Fucked!<b>kayzers</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:23am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:07pm

Connerm's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Connerm's badges

Connerm's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43102) - you deserved it (6085)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49141) - you deserved it (26755)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52001) - you deserved it (10900)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30531) - you deserved it (2217)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35455) - you deserved it (5573)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52239) - you deserved it (6567)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44246) - you deserved it (14524)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15426) - you deserved it (73100)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44985) - you deserved it (8561)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (7423)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

#20409563
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (6627)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I overheard my mom telling my younger sister not to use my razors because she "doesn't know what I may have." FML

#18604441
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27052) - you deserved it (4647)

On 12/25/2011 at 2:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML

#16929016
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32438) - you deserved it (2707)

On 06/30/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by Rachael (woman) - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69113) - you deserved it (3862)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my brother and I were standing at the baggage claim, waiting for our luggage to come out. We were commenting on all the bags that appeared, and when two large hiking packs came out I exclaimed "What kind of cunts go backpacking in New York?" The old couple standing next to us, apparently. FML

#2203272
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7739) - you deserved it (83061)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by beavis - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: