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Offline (the 12/15/2015 at 6:13pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 August 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1888
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Connerm's page activity

Visits<b>memed</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:18pm<b>lchollett</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 8:41pm<b>iAmScrubs</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 1:27am<b>kayzers</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:00pm<b>shanedooburt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:08pm<b>JustinCredible42</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:52am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:04pm<b>linderp</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:12pm<b>TuChiLE_MeXiCaNO</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:31pm<b>UC_jrmnts</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 12:01am<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 6:53pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:07pm<b>TheLawsOfGravity</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 2:02am<b>thatnewgirl</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 11:18am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:34am<b>martin8337</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:27pm<b>not_alone</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:18pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:21pm

Fucked!<b>kayzers</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:23am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:07pm

Connerm's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Connerm's badges

Connerm's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

by anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 8:35am / Australia / Love

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

by JJ_V3N0M / 01/03/2015 at 5:48am / United States (California) / Love

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 10:23am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

by katsaysner / 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 10:39am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

by LagSwitchFTW / 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

by asthmattack / 01/25/2013 at 1:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

by frozensolid / 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

by milkshake / 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

by theycallmekitty / 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

by legitweirdo / 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous