Conker4321

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Offline (the 02/19/2015 at 9:08pm)

Conker4321

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4845
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Conker4321 : Honestly, I'm just out to have fun. I can care less about what you have to say and what you're opinions are because I'm just out doing me. Hooah! Go Army! I'll serve that flag until the day I die.

Conker4321's page activity

Visits<b>flyingflies</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 6:40am<b>tepovre</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 10:40pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 5:10am<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:08am<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:48am<b>RecLeague</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Ashafarah</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 3:37am<b>SqueezeMe32</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:42pm<b>brittany2230</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:15am<b>jeriaslovesyou</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:51am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:33pm<b>angelbaby11396</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:12pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 10:22am

Conker4321's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Conker4321's badges

Conker4321's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

by skollasch / 09/25/2014 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML

by badprofessor / 09/18/2014 at 9:44pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

by immature / 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Work

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2014 at 3:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

by humdrummitydrum / 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm / United States / Health

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

by murrrrf / 07/21/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

by mdsfkljsfsdrewr / 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

by CorCelesti / 06/02/2014 at 10:00am / United States / Love

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

by outsmartedbykids / 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids