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Conker4321

Offline (the 08/21/2014 at 1:29pm) | Search for a member

Conker4321

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 950
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Conker4321 : Honestly, I'm just out to have fun. I can care less about what you have to say and what you're opinions are because I'm just out doing me. Hooah! Go Army! I'll serve that flag until the day I die.

Conker4321's page activity

Visits<b>RecLeague</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Ashafarah</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 3:37am<b>SqueezeMe32</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:42pm<b>brittany2230</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:15am<b>jeriaslovesyou</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:51am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:33pm<b>angelbaby11396</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:12pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 10:22am

Conker4321's FML badges

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Conker4321's favorite FMLs

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36038) - you deserved it (5086)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36440) - you deserved it (22181)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (5798)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46459) - you deserved it (8136)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44555) - you deserved it (4192)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

#21160325
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41557) - you deserved it (4234)

On 06/02/2014 at 10:00am - love - by CorCelesti (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58904) - you deserved it (4556)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46338) - you deserved it (27734)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44106) - you deserved it (6505)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58772) - you deserved it (5033)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (42989)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (3932)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54320) - you deserved it (6006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58613) - you deserved it (11397)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)



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