About Comet_Candy : In the tiny space between reality and dreams, you, enchanted by fictitious imagery, merely let yourself be immersed in satisfaction.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20900) - you deserved it (7794)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook and changed our relationship status to single just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31709) - you deserved it (4485)
On 06/07/2011 at 7:09pm - love - by fmfb - United States
Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35900) - you deserved it (6285)
On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12179) - you deserved it (25364)
On 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (5398)
On 02/04/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by omnomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (51450)
On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -
Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20180) - you deserved it (1919)
On 01/19/2011 at 1:54pm - work - by peachesthepigeon (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (8033)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4348) - you deserved it (28712)
On 12/02/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50080) - you deserved it (2525) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (2241)
On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was driving down the road. A giant seagull flew into my windsheild and shattered it. If that is not bad enough, the carcass slid up my windshield, into my sunroof, and suddenly I had a bloody, dead passenger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (1932)
On 10/08/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21344) - you deserved it (2857)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11498) - you deserved it (5621)
On 03/12/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (5100)
On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Friday 24 May 2013
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