Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 6:37am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6197
  • Number of comments : 178
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Comet_Candy : Feel free to message me c: I'm a pretty open person and I love talking with other people.

A little about myself: I love baking, floral arrangement, karaoke, and the colour red. I have an affinity for cute things and animals. I also make costumes and cute stuffed animals in my spare time. I enjoy a good cup of tea. Especially peach.

I really enjoy playing Cytus, Lollipop Chainsaw and Bayonetta. RPGs in general are pretty rad. I've also started playing WoW on a daily basis.

Mami Tomoe is mai waifu~

Comet_Candy's page activity

Visits<b>amc597</b> - 14 hours ago<b>twister45</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 9:35pm<b>dylanj0119</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:19pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 2:34pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:30am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:31pm<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 12:37pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:18am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:39am<b>Throggdor</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:00pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 10:44am<b>ImNotAnAlien</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:39am<b>Erudito</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:21pm<b>hooAhhh</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:55pm<b>BrianZ13</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:04pm<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:14pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:21pm

Fucked!<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 6:37pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:24am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:25am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:52pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:30pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:46pm<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:23am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:47pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 5:17am<b>Chesties</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:11am<b>TStiles</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:29pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:26am<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:58am<b>imerichello</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:39am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:22am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:51am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:34am<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:31pm

Comet_Candy's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Comet_Candy's badges

Comet_Candy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My boyfriend thinks I'm faking the whole thing in revenge for the fight we had yesterday. FML

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42920) - you deserved it (10059)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writers of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people like him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adults who don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38144) - you deserved it (4294)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48955) - you deserved it (6072)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44587) - you deserved it (10944)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that my grandma has pictures of all her grandchildren all over her house, with one glaring exception: me. FML

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57066) - you deserved it (8973)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44900) - you deserved it (3345)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44975) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56489) - you deserved it (6918)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46717) - you deserved it (3970)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41525) - you deserved it (7718)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64171) - you deserved it (21141)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: