This member hasn't filled in their description.
ComaWhiteLove's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
ComaWhiteLove's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML
by Parentalfailure / 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML
by no new apartment for me / 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids
by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm / Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Acidic Donut / 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML
by Gribby / 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous
Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML
by whoriblemomindeed / 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm / United States / Intimacy
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…