ComaWhiteLove

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Offline (the 04/21/2015 at 12:14am)

ComaWhiteLove

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 May 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 5648
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ComaWhiteLove's page activity

Visits<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 4:14am<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 11:16am<b>MapleWaffle</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 3:44pm<b>KKKKNNNN</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Casper___t</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:05am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:37pm<b>paintedchocolate</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 4:31am<b>facelick</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:03pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:55pm<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:51am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:48pm<b>AnaMoore</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 7:33pm<b>burritosrgood</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:27pm<b>Tavers</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 11:55pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:28pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 12:45pm<b>Pwib</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 6:36am<b>Corsaire</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 8:05am

Fucked!<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 10:14am

ComaWhiteLove's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ComaWhiteLove's badges

ComaWhiteLove's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

by Dick the Greater / 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm / Intimacy

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML

by GodSquad / 09/26/2013 at 4:06am / United Kingdom (Blackburn with Darwen) / Love

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

by disappointed / 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

by ughreally / 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous