Colonel_Lexi

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Offline (the 06/10/2014 at 6:29pm)

Colonel_Lexi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1805
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About Colonel_Lexi : Why are you on my page?

Colonel_Lexi's page activity

Visits<b>tarynx</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 7:56am<b>odod777</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:59am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 6:42am<b>PiroPiroKyun</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:20am<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 3:58pm<b>roza043</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 3:08am<b>perdix</b> - the 05/03/2012 at 8:29pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/23/2012 at 10:09pm<b>EconomicCrisis</b> - the 02/21/2012 at 1:54am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 02/19/2012 at 12:09am<b>OctoberRainfall</b> - the 02/03/2012 at 12:08pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 02/03/2012 at 10:19am<b>Haha_no_123</b> - the 02/01/2012 at 3:36pm<b>alexup24</b> - the 01/25/2012 at 7:35pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 01/24/2012 at 10:58pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 01/24/2012 at 12:34pm

Colonel_Lexi's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Colonel_Lexi's badges

Colonel_Lexi's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

by theuglyfriend / 07/17/2012 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "shit", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother". FML

by gloria77 / 01/23/2012 at 6:26pm / United States / Kids

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

by Sadfaic / 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML

by Jeff G. / 01/22/2012 at 7:31pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML

by needanewphone / 01/22/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2012 at 1:06pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2012 at 6:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my recent ex-girlfriend posted a photo of herself on Facebook. It was a picture of herself in the arms of a half-naked male stripper. She posted it on my wall. FML

by sisco2901 / 01/22/2012 at 4:12am / Slovakia (Nitra) / Love

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2012 at 3:25am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML

by suckstobefat / 01/22/2012 at 1:10am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

by Joe / 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Florida) / Money