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Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (1434)
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25649) - you deserved it (5652)
On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40434) - you deserved it (6020)
On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13881) - you deserved it (26470)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34242) - you deserved it (2507)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13926) - you deserved it (24284)
On 01/22/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by needanewphone - United States (Illinois)
Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20297) - you deserved it (4854)
On 01/22/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (3836)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24131) - you deserved it (2450)
On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25693) - you deserved it (3780)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33566) - you deserved it (7587)
On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28280) - you deserved it (10821)
On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25603) - you deserved it (5042)
On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, inspired by my own relationship, I encouraged my best friend to go after the guy she likes. She did, and I'm now single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35512) - you deserved it (3818)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:17pm - love - by britt71411 - United States (Texas)
Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (2195)
Monday 20 May 2013
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